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Here kitty kitty! 5/27/2007
I heard this joke in 6th grade. The girl who told it was made
to tell it in front of the whole class. The teacher was AWESOME
for allowing that! If this gets past the censors it's
a hell of a lot of fun. Here we go...
A woman goes to her doctor. Says "Doctor! Doctor!
Please help me! My husband and I don't have sex anymore.
Ever! Is there anything you can do?"
He nods his head, ...
0 Comments,
187 Views,
12 Votes
,2.98 Score
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Breast Implants 5/21/2007
A woman asked her husband for breast implants, the husband
said "no i like you the way you are and it cost to much
anyway" The wife said "i don't care i still
want them" the husband told her he knew how she could
make them larger without the surgery. How? she asked. He
told her to rub toliet paper between her breast a few times
a day. The woman said that won't work! to which to man
said, well it ...
0 Comments,
199 Views,
12 Votes
,3.15 Score
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Johns Tale. Does tell ! 5/8/2007
take our average friend here. Well, He's constantly
filled with inner desires, he could never tell a soul. But, as have us all. He, meets a friend. One acquainted with
others. Johnie's jumps at the chance! Forced Feminization
"he doesn't question how the Fem. Servile training
is taught!Later in a brief phone call, already being called
janie just talking on the phone. But, our friend all ...
2 Comments,
145 Views,
1 Votes
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From one Irish man too, another. 5/8/2007
Did you hear the one about the 2 Irish homosexuals? Mike
Fitzpatrick and Patrick fitzmike....
0 Comments,
48 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
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The golden SHARK 5/8/2007
One day the fisherman, was out in sea and caught a golden
shark. The shark then start begging the man to let it go and
promised to grand him one wish. The fisherman already knew
about the magic abilities of the golden fish, so he agreed
to free the golden shark.
"OK now man, you better think hard about this wish,
because it will be only one to be granted with" the
golden shark said. ...
2 Comments,
208 Views,
16 Votes
,3.86 Score
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blondes and vibrators 5/1/2007
what is a trannies favorite drink? answer:a creamy sweet
stiff hard one...
0 Comments,
65 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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Have you ever smelled moth balls? 4/13/2007
Yes, you say?
Well, how did you get them to spread their little legs?
0 Comments,
31 Views,
5 Votes
,1.51 Score
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The pregnant Italian girl 4/6/2007
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed
her > Period for > 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore
and buys a > Pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl
is pregnant. > Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "who
was the pig that >did > This to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up
the phone and makes >a > Call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari ...
0 Comments,
180 Views,
14 Votes
,5.86 Score
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The pregnant Italian girl 4/6/2007
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed
her > Period for > 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore
and buys a > Pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl
is pregnant. > Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "who
was the pig that >did > This to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up
the phone and makes >a > Call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari ...
0 Comments,
39 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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tongue 4/4/2007
what does a lovely girls ass and battery hav in common? you
know it is wrong but you know some time you put you tongue
on it
0 Comments,
86 Views,
5 Votes
,0.86 Score
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reposession 4/3/2007
A guy a work always wrote a check to his ex wife first before
making a boat payment rent or even buying groceries. We
all kidded him about it and said boy that must be some good
pussy to want to get it back that bad. We watched every friday
at lunch he'd sit down and write her a check and he would
leave straight from work and take it right to her. I sort of felt sorry for the guy taking so much ...
3 Comments,
133 Views,
10 Votes
,3.78 Score
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blonde school teacher 3/27/2007
one day in class the blonde school teacher was trying to
explain blood circulation when she stood on her head for
a few minutes and had the class look at her face making the
point that the blood rushed into her head and made her face
red
then she stood up and continued talking and asking questions.
after a few moments she had the class observe her feet and
asked if anyone knew why ...
0 Comments,
163 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score
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A Man comes home early 3/26/2007
A man comes home early and finds his wife in bed asleep. He
lifts up the covers and works his way up to her pussy which
he eats until she comes over his face. He slides out from
under the cover and goes to wash his face, when he opens the
bathroom door his wife is sitting in the bath shaving her
legs.... "What the fuck are you doing in here" he asks......
ssssssh says his wife you will wake ...
1 Comments,
172 Views,
11 Votes
,5.22 Score
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An Elephant 3/26/2007
An elephant meets a camel and asks "why have you got
tits on your back?"
The camel replies "thats fucking rich coming from
a fat cunt with a dick on his face!!"
0 Comments,
81 Views,
7 Votes
,5.33 Score
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Jeffrey and Lorena 3/19/2007
Q. What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit?
A. "Uhh, you gonna eat that?"
0 Comments,
52 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
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These cross a line... 3/19/2007
Q. What's the best part of having sex with six year olds?
A. They're six.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Q. Whats the best part of having sex with twentytwo year
olds?
A. There's twenty of 'em.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Q. What's the best part about having sex with ten year
olds in the shower?
A. They look eight when their hair's ...
4 Comments,
141 Views,
11 Votes
,0.55 Score
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wrestling match 3/14/2007
A young challenger was about to go up against the champion
wrestler and the coach was giving last minute instructions...."now
watch out for his signature hold, it's called the pretzel
and if he gets you in this hold it will all be over because
there is no way to break out of it"
The young mans nods his head and steps up onto the mat and
the match begins. The champ circles and in one swift ...
0 Comments,
93 Views,
8 Votes
,5.10 Score
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church bells 3/14/2007
A 80 year old man died at home sunday morning. A young woman in their church goes by to pay her respects.
She asked how he died and the old woman said "he had
a heart attack and died while we were having sex" "How awful" the young woman says "but,
ain't that kinda asking for it at your age?"
She smiled and said"oh well we thought about that
and he came up with the idea of having sex when ...
0 Comments,
92 Views,
8 Votes
,3.94 Score
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guidelines for BRATS 3/14/2007
Guldelines for Brats
1. I will not peek out the blindfold
2. My last assignment was not stolen by one armed hackers
3. I will not tell newbies that all real subs like bullwhips
4. I will refrain from muttering “hail satan” if I do not
like your orders.
5. I cannot yell YOU’RE FIRED just to get a spanking
6. I will not use your gags to keep the quiet.
7. ...
0 Comments,
99 Views,
3 Votes
,0.98 Score
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Whats the difference... 3/6/2007
between chess and sex?
4 Comments,
228 Views,
9 Votes
,0.43 Score
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College Student 3/1/2007
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's
final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any
excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider
a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness,
or a death in your immediate family, but that's it,
no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in
the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What
would you say if tomorrow I said I ...
1 Comments,
290 Views,
16 Votes
,5.04 Score
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oil leaks 2/28/2007
a penguin took his car to the garage and told the mechanic
he had an oil leak and left to go across the street for an ice
cream.
not having any hands he got it all over his beak.
getting back to the garage the mechanic says "looks like you blew a seal"
"no I just ate some ice cream" says the penguin
0 Comments,
113 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
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The ugly woman and a parrot 2/25/2007
There was an ugly, crotchety old woman who walked past a
pet store on her way to work everyday. Outside the pet store
there was always a parrot and when the woman walked by the
parrot would say, "Eeewww, you're ugly."
This went on every day for 2 weeks and finally the woman went
in the pet store and began screaming at the clerk, "If
that bird makes another rude comment to me I will be sure ...
0 Comments,
158 Views,
14 Votes
,1.06 Score
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A Thief, Jesus and Moses 2/24/2007
While a thief was robbing a house late at night he heard something
say, "Jesus is watching you." The thief shinned
his flashlight around the room to see a Parrot in a cage.
The thief asked, "Are you Jesus." To which the
parrot replied, "Ohhhh no, I'm Moses. Jesus
is the Pit Bull who is watching you."
0 Comments,
155 Views,
14 Votes
,5.06 Score
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the screw 2/23/2007
way back when.....bobby goes to pick up his date and her
dad says come on in and have a seat she ain't ready yet.
he asked him what his plans for the evening was and he said
they were going down to the soda shop and hang out.
the dad said "why dont you take her out and screw....she
loves to screw, hell I bet she's screw all night long
if we'd let her"
the young mans face was alight ...
0 Comments,
248 Views,
8 Votes
,4.64 Score
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one armed man 2/23/2007
a man loses his arm and decides he just can't live like
this and decides to kill himself.
he goes to the roof and stands on the edge and sees a guy skipping
down the street humming and he has no arms.
he thought if he can be that happy without any arms I should
be ashamed of feeling sorry for myself.
he ran down to the street and caught up withthe man and thanked
him for being his ...
0 Comments,
119 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score
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How Many Kinds Of Boobies Are There 2/22/2007
A family is at the dinner table. The asks his father,
"Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, , there's
three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a women's
breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties
to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging
a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them ...
0 Comments,
158 Views,
8 Votes
,5.10 Score
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Wish Fulfillment 2/22/2007
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon place for their 25th
anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years
ago, the wife asked the husband: "When you first saw
my naked body in front of you, what was going through your
mind?" The husband replied: "All I wanted to do was to fuck
your brains out, and suck your tits dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked: "What are
you ...
0 Comments,
129 Views,
10 Votes
,5.58 Score
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In The Dark 2/22/2007
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.
Every time they made love the husband always insisted on
shutting off the light.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.
She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit.
So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming,
romantic session, she turned on the lights.
She looked ...
0 Comments,
203 Views,
7 Votes
,6.10 Score
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Who? 2/22/2007
During a course in human sexuality, the instructor was
discussing various items in the Kinsey report.
The class members gasped audibly when the instructor read
out that a woman had several hundred orgasms in a single
session.
A male voice said, "Wow, who was she?"
A female voice followed with, "The hell with that...
Who was HE?'"
0 Comments,
104 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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